Happy Patriot Day

That’s the Boston Marathon. Running for 26 miles is stupid. Running for 26 miles in cold, windy weather is retarded.

This weekend was pretty damn cool. It saw the Red Sox out score the Angles 25 to 3 in a three out of four game sweep. Sunday’s game and “Jackie Robinson Day” was postponed due to rain. So no Big Papi or Coco Crisp wearing #42. Anyway, to say that the offensive production was anything less than impressive, you either hate Boston or you think that from only playing your xyz MLB video game that 25 runs in a three game series is normal. Despite the money shot of runs on the Angles’ collective face, I don’t get too excited this time of the year because Boston has had a habit the past several seasons of being on fire up until the All-Star break and then flaming out somewhere in August or September. It’s still fun to watch pitchers get lit up for six or seven runs in an inning that aren’t wearing a Red Sox uniform. Especially when the pitchers are named Ervin. I always hated that name. So kudos to Ervin “Magic” Johnson for being known by his nickname.

Josh Beckett had yet another strong outing and has rushed to a 3-0 record in his first three starts within two weeks of Opening Day. I’m excited to see if he can keep up the pace and pan out to become a stud in the rotation. The only thing that I’m waiting to see is if he can hold up for six or seven innings and be just as strong when the score is 1-0 or 3-2 and he isn’t on the positive end of massive run support from his offense. Out of the 17 1^st inning runs the Sox have scored this year (second only to the Arizona Diamondbacks), 12 have come on the three games Beckett has pitched in. Of course you can’t blame him for pitching well during a streak where the Red Sox bats have been, well, red hot. Just like you can’t blame Dice-K’s first loss square on his shoulders when the lineup couldn't buy a hit or manufacture a run. Credit has to be given to Felix Hernandez’s outstanding performance that night at Fenway amid all the international media hype. Hopefully said media circus will die down a bit on the road in Canada, eh?

Speaking of the blue birds, this is the same team that had their way with Boston at the Rogers Center in 2006. The Sox lost 7 of 9 north of the border and 11 out of 18 overall. I almost fear playing Toronto more than the New York Yankees based on the fact that they face the same match up problems that they encountered last season. Also, it’s not like the Sox will be throwing their aces at Toronto for this midweek road trip before the Yanks come to town. Dice-K, in my opinion is still an unproven entity despite two quality outings against Kansas City and Seattle, and has looked um, a little dicey at times? (Ok, that last comment was pretty stupid). Tim Wakefield only had one decision, a loss, against them last year so he’s a bit of a question mark too. Julian Tavarez, who pitched in 98 and 2/3’s of an inning last year as a Red Sock seeing most of that time as a starter spent his time between looking sharp and just mildly sucking (yes, even though he had a stretch in '06 of eight unbeaten starts), gave up 4 earned in 4 innings last Saturday and really sucked in Arlington against the Rangers. What the hell happened? I wanted to throw my Southwest Steak sandwich at the TV at the local 54^th Street Bar and grill my fiancé and I were at. The last time I threw food at a TV in a bar I got kicked out for a very long time, so the new mature me decided to do what the good Lord intended for my sandwich. However, I digress (which I do a lot). Not to be outdone by some of the world’s ugliest athletes, JT is one scary looking dude. He looks like a Dominican Freddy Kruger. He looks like a bad guy extra from that Dick Tracy movie with Madonna and Warren Beatty. Maybe he can scare the Blue Jay lineup into submission on Thursday. Then it’s back to Fenway for a three game series against the big, bad, Yankees. It’s also Boston’s first set of games against American League East opponents, not that it’s too noteworthy but they are always my favorite to watch.

Here is a Red Sox extra for you. It's ESPN doing a photo journal of a day in the life of a major league baseball player "in his own words." Portly and jovial David "Big Papi" Ortiz would be a good subject, right? Good idea, since this guy sounds like he just learned English 10 minutes ago. Don't get me wrong, I like Ortiz, a lot. Just not the guy I'd pick for this type of thing. This is a good example of why I hate ESPN. Check out the random Payton Manning picture with a guy who looks like Dr. Phil with hair. They threw him in because he's a fellow Reebok sponsored athlete. I don't care if he was on hand for the game or not, it's fucking stupid. And don't show me photos of what he does on the field before the game, I could see that from my seat. It basically turns out to just be an advertisement posing as a "Behind the Scenes Exclusive" for his new "Big Papi 2M cleat" by Reebok, coming soon to a Dick's Sporting Goods Store near you. Great job ESPN. Maybe next week you can run an A-Rod and Derek Jeter retrospective on how their gay man love relationship went sour posing as an Astroglide ad. What? You already did that? Damn it, back to the drawing board.

Finally, in my last post I added that I would be going to Lincoln, Nebraska weather permitting. Turns out it was nice Saturday morning, so Stephanie and I hopped in the car and set out for Memorial Stadium for the annual Spring Game. It was a decent enough day and the attendance shook out to about 55,000. Sam Keller looked sharp, the offense play calling and execution was very surgical, and looked like it was hitting on all cylinders. Which is what the West Coast offense is supposed to look like when Bill Callahan isn't bungling game play management. When I worked at Gateway I sold Callahan a computer when he was still the offensive coordinator for the Oakland Raiders. Anyway, the Black Shirts looked pretty damn tough as well, holding the 2^nd and 3^rd stringers to negative rushing yards and about 9 total yards the entire 1^st half. Then again, that’s almost like being the smart kid in a Special Ed class. I’m hoping to make it up to at least one game this fall (maybe two). I also got my picture taken with the National Championship trophies and I’ll be putting that picture up someday, in case you were interested in checking out my royal fatness.